'It’s All My Fault. Yes, I apologise, as it was all my fault.'If YOU were involved in something that went wrong (say, a project, a presentation, a relationship, anything), never blame others. Blame no one but YOURSELF.
Yes.
YOU.
Today, that I feel I have grown a little, just a teensy weensy bit after going through some new experiences in my life, (very subjective this, as people grow at different rate according to varied experiences and exposure and acceptance and understanding of situations), I believe strongly with the above.
When something goes wrong, the norm is, one’s first reaction is to place a blame anywhere but on oneself. It is only natural. I guess that’s how our natural defence mechanism works (of course with some amazing exceptions amongst us). It definitely is easier to point a finger away from oneself, than otherwise.
And one thinks one has solved the problem.
No. The answer is NO, you have not solved the problem!
If at all, one has only managed to perpetuate the problemated situation and perhaps complicated it further too.
The folly of pointing a finger away from oneself, is that without realizing it, we are giving away the power of change to the other party. This is a serious self-disability. Do you see the point? You will lose control of having the ability to turn things around, should the blamed party take a non-chalant attitude to the whole situation. The blamed party may just be happy to take the blame and do nothing about it. So, you are in an unchanged situation. You are still in a predicament. You are still at square one. What good is that?
Whereas, if you took the blame, you have the choice to do something about it. You have total control over the situation. You have the ability to re-steer the situation in the direction of your choice. Isn’t that better?
Don’t make excuses.
Take the blame.
Take responsibility.
Re-strategise.
Take steps to turn things around. You will get the desired results eventually, rather than waiting for someone else, that you don’t have control of, to change it for you.
You do it yourself.
After all, you were wise enough to have said, ‘It’s All My Fault’.
Well done.
…even at times if it’s not really your fault, it does not matter . You can still take the blame, as they say:
'Lose the battle, to win the war.'
Cheers,
Ruby Ahmad.
p/s If leaders of the world were more magnanimous, were more willing to take the blame, were more willing, to say, 'It's All My Fault'...this world would be a better place to live in. There will be less wars.
Illustration:www.comedy-gags-jokes.com
11 comments:
It's all my fault, Ruby.
I did not return your call and we missed the movies. I will treat you to lunch to make it up next week and we go to the movies.
I agree, Ruby, if leaders can take blame, there will be less wars.
Salmah.
Ruby, I learn especially, as parents we must know when to take the blame and say it is my fault to our chidren. This will show them even though we are older we can take the blame too. This will make them grow up into better and balanced adults.
Khatijah.
Ruby,
Leaders cannot keep on apologising and put the blame on themselves, because it will show that they are bad leaders!
It takes a very big hearted person to take any blame. He/she must be very in-touch and very magnanimous. A person of high humility, otherwise...zilch, my dear.
Nikki.
Dear Ruby,
I agree that leaders especially, and that would include parents, should learn to take on the blame for their mistakes. In relationships though, we may have to be careful on how blame should be apportioned. In the case of battered spouses, it would be dangerous for the victims to keep blaming themselves for the violence inflicted upon them.
Love ya,
Noelle (Vienna)
Hiya girlfriend,
You'd better treat me to lunch!! Japanese at my fav joint ok. Ha ha. Ok movies again. See ya.
Hi Salmah,
Definitely, my dear, that is true.
Khatijah dear,
We must lead by example. As parents, children grow up balanced when their parents show it is ok to be wrong sometime. Problem with traditional parents, they are rather stiff and do not like children to see their real side, (well traditional parents were raised that way and don't know better). That's why there's the saying 'children are seen and not heard'. In today's day if we did this, we get mutiny. Such does not apply anymore.
Anon,
You said...'Leaders cannot keep on apologising and put the blame on themselves, because it will show that they are bad leaders!'
You know there is a niche for leaders who are true to form. Leaders who work with the people and who are real. When at fault they admit.
There is the chance that the people would view the leader as sincere and committed through his openess and humility. Have we thought of this angle? There's the chance the people will be more encouraged and this would propel them to give utmost support and loyalty as they see their leades are truly with them.
Then we are all zipping into first world by just being true and real and open. Thats all we want. Thats all we are looking for.
Not self-serving, but work with us.
Hi Nikki,
To admit fault takes enormous humilty. You are right. Tq.
Hi Noelle,
Boy! How lovely to hear from you all the way from Vienna. Bila balik? Holler please.
You present to me another view as far as battered wives are concerned. Absolutely spot on. That I dissgree the wives should take the blame. This is different. This is dealing with a hubby who is un-well, psychologically.
To me abusive men, need councelling. Therefore the wives are at no point at fault. This is different.
Lovely Noelle for the participation.
Terasa I kat Vienna sekejap...he he.
Cheers.
it takes more courage to say sorry and admit fault than to do the sorry thing and fault in the first place.
well, with that, we all know a lot of world leaders has no balls...
Hi Stupe,
Good morning. I agree with you. Blame it on this unexplainable ego/pride all of us were born with. Th luckiest of people are the ones who along life's journey manages to learn to not get ego/pride in their way.
Have a good weekend Stupe.
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